Difficult Days
I find it very hard to write anything anymore. When I read Chris Peterson's blog this morning about Dan, I could almost copy it and post it about Sam. My heart goes out to both of them because I do know exactly the emotions that they are feeling. I can't imagine facing anything in life that is more difficult than this.

Sam becomes more confused everyday and that is so hard to watch. I have never known a person that was so disciplined or had so much control of mind over matter but that has been taken away. I too thought it might be the medication but I am really not sure anymore. He is taking 8O mg of Oxycodone four times/day but Hospice tells us that other cancer patients take so much more than that. He was alternating 40 mg and 80 mg but that wasn't managing the pain; it seems to me that when we increased the dosage, his confusion did get much worse.
He hasn't eaten anything in two days; when he doesn't eat, I don't eat. It's hard to find much pleasure in eating or anything anymore. We still need everyone's prayers. I know that God will give us the strength that we need; I'm sure of that.